Never Stop Running
by Insane Anarchist-aka Allie
Summary: A *possible* prologue. She always got into the biggest messes—especially when she ran away.


**Summary:** A *possible* prologue. She always got into the biggest messes—especially when she ran away.

**Author's Note:** I don't know if I should continue this…so let me know. Consider this a prologue to a possible story—but it'll probably take backseat to _No Way_, my RENT story (which I just managed to update!). Or maybe I'll be able to update both…who knows. :D Plus I'm reading _Without You_ by Anthony Rapp…it's taking up a lot of my time. That and watching TOS.

As I ran tears flowed freely from my eyes, only to be whipped away by the fierce wind. Only a day ago the _Enterprise_ had begun orbiting the planet Jirda'ais III, to check out a possible Klingon disturbance. I volunteered to go down, alongside Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk…which was a mistake. The Captain and I don't get along very well—especially after I'd once called him a 'selfish womanizing bastard.'

Of course, he'd retaliated by calling me a 'self-absorbed naïve child.' Not nearly as…stinging as my insult, but it bit all the same. I _hated_ being called a child, and he knew it.

But all the same, I wanted to go—I was curious about this green planet. And I was allowed to go, oddly enough.

I still wanted to laugh at the feeling of the transporter—it tickled. But I kept myself in check…I wanted to prove to Captain Kirk that I wasn't the child he thought I was. I was twenty-seven, for heaven's sake. I wasn't a little kid anymore, and I didn't want to be treated like one.

When we got down, I immediately looked around—anywhere but at the two men (well, one man and one half-man) beside me. Jirda'ais was a lush, green planet, just like I'd been told—but no words could describe what it was like. All the colors of the plants were vibrant and looked almost moist. Flowers bloomed everywhere in every color, trees shot up far into the sky, and springy grass carpeted the ground beneath us. The air smelled sweet and fragrant, an amazingly pleasant combination of the smells of the flowers. "Incredible," I breathed. "This place is amazing!" I looked to my superiors—Kirk was examining a few of the nearest flowers, but Spock was standing straight as one of the deep brown tree trunks.

I was torn. On one hand, I wanted to ask him if he liked the planet, engage him in conversation. But on the other hand, I always made a fool of myself when I spoke with him—but I couldn't help myself. I'd loved him for almost a year, and I couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence around him. All the same, I walked over near him as nonchalantly as I could, on the pretense of smelling a flower. "It's very beautiful here, isn't it, Mr. Spock?" I asked, having formed the question in my head while smelling the flower. It was beautiful and huge—a pale purple thing with big, silky petals.

Spoke raised an eyebrow. "Indeed. It is very pleasing."

I grinned. "To the eye or the nose? Or both?"

"Both," he said.

I nodded, running a hand over the petals of that purple flower and thinking that I had to have imagined him relaxing his posture slightly. "I agree," I said, sniffing my hand experimentally. Even the petals were fragrant. "I really hope there aren't any Klingons here-"

But at that moment I spotted movement—a dark shape ducking behind a bush.

"I admit that I agree with your sentiment," said Spock, unaware that there was probably a Klingon only twenty feet from us.

I nodded my assent, walking along a bit to see what was behind that bush. When I saw, my breath caught in my throat—it was a Klingon. I carefully sidled back to Kirk and Spock, unsure of what to do. I was sure that if I went ahead and alerted them, more Klingons would appear when we attacked that one, and we'd get ourselves into a huge mess. But then again if I didn't tell them immediately, I might get in trouble.

All my problems were solved when the Klingon came up into a higher crouch and took aim. It took me only a moment to see that he was aiming at who he thought was the biggest threat—Spock. I hesitated only a moment, and then jumped forward and knocked Spock to the ground. The blast soared over us, a clean miss.

"Klingons!" Kirk hissed, dropping into a crouch.

I felt my heart pounding as I lay there on the ground next to Spock. I'd just saved his life, probably. His face filled my vision, and I almost jumped. "Thank you," he said, looking as though he might smile. But then the ghost of a smile disappeared. "You're bleeding," he said quietly.

I touched my forehead, and my fingers came away sticky and wet and covered in blood. "Ouch," I said, as the pain set in. I grimaced, but sat up all the same. "I'll be alright," I said reassuringly, seeing concern in his eyes.

"Move! Now!" Kirk barked. And we did just that. I moved in one direction, crashing into a large tangle of plants alongside Kirk, and Spock moved in the other direction. I didn't see where he landed, because the plants around Kirk and I leaned in and closed up around us, blocking out almost all the sunlight and creating a natural cave.

I coughed, spitting dust out of my mouth. "Damn," I whispered, looking around.

Kirk sat up. "I think I agree with you," he grumbled. He banged a fist on the wall of plant, but to no avail. It didn't give any, even underneath the Captain's angry fist. It was probably very thick too—and the cave it'd created was huge. Six people could fit inside comfortably, and without touching each other.

"Looks like we're stuck," I said unnecessarily, sighing.

Silence ensued, before Kirk said, "Spock'll get us out—I have the utmost confidence in him."

I rolled my eyes. "Captain, I hate to break it to you, but our little bubble can hardly be discerned from the other pockets of plantlife. And the natural heat from the plants will disguise our heat signatures." I hesitated, feeling worry grip my heart. "And there were probably other Klingons out there," I added softly.

He looked at me, his mouth a grim line. "I know," was all he said.

I think it was an hour before another word was spoken. I cleared my throat before I spoke, and Kirk looked up. "Captain-"

"Jim," he said. "While we're stuck in here, it's Jim." He'd been scratching designs in the dirt, and I paused to look at them before nodding. "Alright. Jim. And you can call me Ara, I suppose." I hesitated. "And once we're out?"

He snorted. "If we get out, you mean. And we'll see."

I wondered why I'd said 'Ara' instead of 'Araceli.' I liked my name—it meant 'sky altar.' But I also liked my meaningless nickname…it was probably because he told me to call him Jim rather than James. Apparently because we were stuck in an impromptu plant cave we could be on a nickname basis.

I laughed softly. "Alright—fair enough. At least you haven't jibed me about my 'lack of age,'" I scoffed. I was goading him—seeing if he would take the bait.

But he didn't. "No, I haven't." He looked at me, frowning. "It really bothers you, doesn't it?" he asked quietly.

I shrugged. "Sometimes it doesn't. But sometimes I get sick of being treated differently because of my age or my gender."

Kirk—or Jim, I suppose—looked past me, obviously thinking.

"I mean, all the time I'm getting crap like 'oh, you can't do this: you're too young.' Or 'let me do that for you, it's too much for you: you're a girl.'" I drew my knees to my chest and dropped my head onto the tops of my knees. "It really gets old, you know?"

Jim nodded thoughtfully. "I remember when that happened to me—people were always telling me different things. One day they'd tell me to grow up and take more responsibility, and the next day they'd be telling me not to do something because I was too young." He flashed a grin, which I didn't return. "Eventually they realized that I _could_ do more."

"But I'll always be prejudiced against, Jim," I said quietly. "Simply because I'm a girl."

I didn't think he had an answer for that, but he proved me wrong. "I think I might make you a Lieutenant once we get out of here, Ensign," Jim mused, scratching more designs into the dirt.

I stared at him, unable to form words. I'd been wanting that for so long—to become a Lieutenant was a step up, bringing me higher and giving me more opportunity to prove that I _could_ do things that everyone told me I couldn't. "I'm flattered, but…why?" I asked finally.

He smiled at me. "You've always been an excellent officer, Ara. I haven't had to reprimand you once in your whole time on the _Enterprise_." He shook his head, the smile turning to a grin. "And you saved my first officer. That deserves something."

I absently touched the dried blood on the cut on my forehead, and smiled. "Thank you, sir," I whispered.

"Now, there's another, more…_pressing_ matter at hand, I believe," he said, eyeing me strangely.

I met his gaze, suspicion tearing at my stomach. "What do you mean?"

Jim smirked slightly. "That fact that you're in love with my first officer."

I couldn't breathe. I really couldn't. My lungs just wouldn't pump air.

"Breathe, Ara. You need to breathe," Jim laughed.

So I took a deep breath, feeling the blood pounding in my head. My vision cleared, and I saw Jim smiling good-naturedly at me. "I'm not mad, Ara. Don't worry. I'm just wondering when you're going to tell him."

I blushed deeply, focusing only on breathing. _In and out. In and out. It's simple. In and out…_ "I-I don't know what you mean," I said, lying badly.

Jim rolled his eyes. "You know exactly what I mean," he chuckled. "You stopped breathing when I mentioned the word 'love.'"

Again, I had to focus hard on breathing before speaking. "Can we…not talk about this?" I asked, hopeful.

"This is probably the best chance we'll have to talk about it," he retorted. "Once we're back on the _Enterprise_-"

"If," I interrupted.

"-then we'll be Captain Kirk and Lieutenant Mariam again. We can talk freely here, Ara," he continued.

I couldn't argue with him—and he'd thrown in 'Lieutenant,' just to make me want to agree more. Truth be told, I _wanted_ to talk about it to someone. And maybe Jim—not Captain Kirk—was the right person. "Well…alright." I hesitated, then continued. "I've loved him for…about a year now."

"I guessed as much," said Jim, nodding. "And are you going to tell him?"

I blushed deeply. "I don't think so. I don't want it to get in the way of…becoming friends. If even _that_ could happen, I could control myself a little better."

"Control yourself?" he asked, frowning.

I nodded. "Well…yeah. I always avoid shifts with him. And if I'm forced into one, I don't look at him and I only talk when I can't just nod or shake my head."

Jim smirked. "Well, that doesn't help in your plan to become friends, now does it?" he teased.

"No…but I always make a fool of myself when I really talk."

"You didn't today," he retorted.

I sighed. "No, that's because I carefully planned out each thing I said before actually talking."

Jim laughed. "I see. Look, you tear yourself up all the time about it—why not just give in and tell him?"

"B-because!" I spluttered. "I _can't_. I don't want to scare him away!" I wiped at the tears in the corners of my eyes. "I want to tell him," I admitted softly.

Jim scooted closer and touched my shoulder. "Just tell him," he said gently. "I'm pretty sure it won't scare him away."

I looked at him, hoping against hope that he was insinuating something. "How do you know?" I whispered.

"Just call it…Captain's intuition," he said, grinning.

I was about to reply when we heard something from the outside. "Captain Kirk! Ensign Marian! Are you alright?" It was Scotty, which surprised me. Jim flashed me a smile that said 'I told you so.' "We're alright, Scotty. Just get us out of here."

He looked at me. "Once we're out…you're still allowed to call me Jim," he said, smirking.

I laughed. "And you can still call me Ara."

We shook hands, just as a crack opened up. A loud buzzing noise reached our ears, and I realized it was a saw of some sort.

The crack widened, and faces appeared. When it was large enough for my slim frame, a hand reached in. "Ensign Marian, take my hand." The voice sounded tantalizingly familiar, but I was too dazed by the sudden appearance of light to place it.

"Lieutenant," Jim said firmly. "She's Lieutenant Marian now."

I slowly reached up and grabbed the hand—it was warm and comforting. The person pulled me out, and the second my feet touched the ground I wobbled and fell against them. Whoever it was supported me carefully, wrapping their arms around me just underneath my arms and letting me rest against them. "Are you alright?" said someone asked.

I recognized the voice then—it was Spock. Immediately color flooded my cheeks. "Um…yeah. I'm alright. I've just been sitting for a while." I blinked several times, but I still couldn't see. "I just—the sun's really bright. I can't see very well."

Something wet trickled into my eyes, and I suddenly could see Spock's concerned face—and it was very near mine. "There," he said. Did I imagine a ghost of a smile on his face? I had to have.

"Thanks," I said, wiping underneath my eyes. I could see clearly now—and his face was expressionless and emotionless. I carefully stood up, and he let me stand on my own, but letting his hands hover near enough to catch me if I fell. I took a few experimental steps, and then tried walking all the way over to the plant bubble—just in time to have Jim crash into me, suffering from the same imbalance that I had. I steadied him, laughing. He rolled his eyes. "You make a very good stopper, Ara," he snickered.

I released him and he placed a hand on the plant bubble for support. I curtsied teasingly, laughing still. "I live to serve," I mocked.

Soon after we beamed back up, and I let myself giggle—when I got strange looks, I said, "Well, it tickles!"

Jim smirked and linked arms with me, surprising me. I saw Spock watching us—and for a fleeting moment he looked…_jealous_? No, surely not…but as I watched, he never took his eyes off us—and there was definitely a hint of jealousy—until he hurriedly left the room.

"Bones wants us to head to the sickbay and get a quick checkup," Jim said, blissfully unaware of the stares of his first officer.

I nodded. "Yeah, sure. Let's go."

'Quick' wasn't really an appropriate word for the _examination_. Bones gave us both a full scan, making sure absolutely nothing was wrong with us. While I was getting my fifth scan (on a new machine) Jim and Bones talked, looking over at me every so often.

After that Jim left, grinning at me. "I'll see you around, Ara."

I grinned back, unable to move my head—it would mess up the scan. I waited impatiently while the machines whirred on, and finally stopped.

"Well, you're all set—you're the picture of health," said Bones, helping me off the table. "Now, Jim wanted me to talk to you for a moment. Is this a good time?"

I hesitated. "Yeah…sure, it's fine." I hopped up on one of the beds, making myself comfortable. "What's up?"

Bones sat down across from me, studying me closely. "He wanted me to talk to you about Spock—but he wasn't specific. He seemed to think you needed to tell me yourself."

I blushed. "Well…while Jim-" I saw him turn up the corner of his mouth into a smirk at my casual use of 'Jim.' "-and I were stuck inside that plant bubble, I—I admitted…something."

Bones nodded, but didn't speak—he just waited for me to continue, which I did. "I—I admitted that I'm in l-love…with Spock," I whispered.

He didn't respond for the longest time, and I was sure he was going to be angry. But eventually he spoke. "I already knew that," he said, grinning at me. "I'm guessing Jim told you to tell him?"

I nodded, biting my lip. "Yeah," I breathed. "But I'm not sure that I should."

"Well, I leave that up to you," said Bones. "But whatever you choose I'll stand behind you, Ara." He winked. "And if Spock gives you a hard time, just send him here."

* * *

I found myself pacing just outside my room, going back and forth in front of the door. There wasn't enough free space inside. "So, just walk up to him and say it. No, that's too blunt. I'll start a conversation, and then… But no, I'll get flustered and I won't tell him. Well, I guess I'll just have to go with the 'Mr. Spock, I think I'm in love with you,' option."

And I turned around to come face-to-face with Spock. He was staring at me, and I realized suddenly that he'd heard me. So I did the first thing that came to mind—I ran, even as the tears streamed down my face. I ran from Spock, from Jim, from Bones…from anyone who would bother talking to me. I ran from any chance of being loved back—and most of all I ran from the hole I'd shoved myself into.

I don't know how long I ran, or where I ended up, but suddenly I slammed into something. I landed hard on the ground, and lay there, wondering who it was. No one spoke, so I carefully opened my eyes—and looked right up into the face of a very satisfied Klingon warrior.

* * *

**_So let me know how I did...characterwise, plotline wise, etc. :)_**


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